The desire to relate is innate. The ability to relate well is learned. Often there is a need for us to unlearn old patterns of relating and relearn new satisfying patterns. The beginning of everything worthwhile is the self. If the journey ends there, it can be a life of misery. Relationships require both partners to have a strong sense of self. This is the firm basis for reaching out and building a bridge to each other. The two-way interchange of thoughts and feelings across this bridge is the key to intimacy. As each partner takes responsibility for meeting their own needs and discovers ways of supporting each other's efforts to meet these needs, love and companionship deepen.
Ninety nine percent of sexual problems are psychological. One percent are physical.
When men and women fail to arouse each other easily they are in an exciting transition. They are beginning to shift from the dominance of physical arousal to an emphasis on psychological arousal. Feelings of intimacy, feelings of belonging, feelings of security, feelings of affection, feelings of safety and feelings of mutual understanding become the catalysts of a new sexual energy.
All sexual therapy is about helping people to free themselves from deep-seated feelings of loneliness, alienation, insecurity, boredom, threat and misunderstanding. It is about a process of rebuilding, sharing and mutual support. It is about reducing performance anxiety through relaxed communication and affection.
The process of arousal is different for each individual and is constantly changing in a long-term relationship. The process of arousal needs to become increasingly psychological for both men and women. Physical arousal becomes secondary.
The beginning of everything worthwhile is the self. If the journey ends there it can become a life of misery reserved for the self-absorbed. The real self is opposed to the 'phoney self' or the 'no self'. Self-esteem is the esteem I give myself. It differs from popularity, fame or success, which are bestowed by others and can be taken away by others.
Depression is an illness which responds well to skilled treatment. Just as diabetes is an illness and not a weakness, so too depression is not a weakness. Shame need not be felt in recognising depression and seeking help. Without effective treatment, depression may be prolonged unnecessarily. Depression is not sadness which may last for hours or days. It is a feeling of emptiness, hopelessness, darkness or powerlessness which can be profoundly disturbing and disabling and can negatively affect work performance and personal relationships. Depression can occur in men, women and children at any age.
Chronic or acute pain can be treated by hypnosis and relaxation techniques. Chronic pain as a result of injury, if not treated, will move from a localised experience to a global experience. The link between the physical and psychological components of human beings means that physical pain can cause psychological pain and vice versa. This ricochet effect is doubly debilitating unless treated.
Treatments
The victim requires specialised psychological treatment to appreciate the psychological consequences of any abuse or trauma. The second stage is when victims recognise that they are survivors because of their considerable resources and strengths. The most fulfilling stage is when the survivor learns to use these strengths to achieve a quality and meaningful life with self esteem restored.
The goals of life coaching are
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